Well… it’s the morning before our first World Cup rugby game. A few hours from now, I will be jogging out onto the rugby pitch with 14 of my national teammates, looking forward to representing my country again on the international stage. Yes, I found out a couple of days ago that I am in the starting line-up for this first game against Scotland. But let me tell you… physically and mentally, the lead-up to this game as not been an easy one!
To be honest, the past month has been difficult – a bit like a roller coaster. Without knowing my role on the team, or what I should expect in terms of playing time at the World Cup, etc., I found myself questioning a lot of things, and struggling to find motivation leading up to the departure. I was being asked to do a number of interviews, but wondered why me, and not a captain or veteran who had seen the developments of the team over the past few years.
Because I hadn’t played rugby in so long, knowing that I had only played 4.5 full rugby games this summer (and in the past 2.5 years), I started wondering if I was really good enough at rugby, or just at interviews! And, to be perfectly honest, I was very close to pulling out of the World Cup because of thoughts that I was setting myself up for public failure!
I know that doesn’t sound very ‘Olympic’, but I’m being perfectly honest! After a lot of thought and contemplation, I realized that I am playing this sport because I LOVE this sport! I am playing this sport because I actually WANT to play this sport! I don’t HAVE to – I WANT to!
